Love, support, trial and error is almost everything one may need in life to be a better person.  I am extremely grateful for the support system I do have. They may not always tell me what I want to hear and sometimes it isn’t going to always FEEL good, but they’re mines.  The love and support you receive from a friend, a mother, a significant other can help you through some situations you may not want to face.  So be grateful in who chooses to look your way and see you out of a bad moment. Because that’s what life consists of, good and bad moments, phases, SEASONS.  And life places different people in your cypher, some to see you at high places and some to kick you when you’re down.  I listen to Corrine Bailey Rae “Seasons” and think about my own phases and seasons in life.  Glad that I could evolve and learn from each one because if I hadn’t I’d still be in fucked up place, with fucked up people to see me continually hurt myself. 

I was hanging with a few friends and we were outside chatting about the weather. I hate being cold and it’s the middle of December.  We kept mentioning how uncomfortable this winter weather was and I kept saying how much I HATED being cold.  Why couldn’t it be spring and summer all year round?  Obviously for the sake of the Earth and this Universe, summer all year round would result in some not so good experiences yet, I was sure I’d rather have it that way.  My friend said she used to feel the same way until she started to appreciate each season.  The next thing she told me, if I remember correctly, “YOU CAN’T GO THROUGH LIFE WAITING FOR THE NEXT SEASON”.  At first I was thrown off because I honestly never looked at the Universe in such a way. I just knew my body didn’t like the feel of cold and I much rather it be  90 degrees outside.  It opened me up just a little more.  I have been going through life waiting for the NEXT best thing as opposed to enjoying each season, each moment, for what it was.  I felt so let down.  Like I had let myself down because as a person I knew the BEST thing to do was to cherish each moment in life and not let it falter.  I knew to take each step in stride and hope for the best out of ANY situation.  But real life doesn’t always turn out how you expect and it doesn’t always make you feel that way.  I let the worst and the best of my circumstances and situation get the best of me.  I was weak.  I’m so glad I had a friend to tell me something so small yet so real because somewhere along the way, I lost myself.

So for yesterday and today and the many days of my life, I’ve come to the conclusion no matter what the situation is, to appreciate each season as it comes.  And I mean that in a general and literal sense.  To appreciate the snow, the rain, the wind, the flowers, and the sun.  To appreciate the blessings and the hardships placed in my life.  To appreciate the food on my table, the bed I sleep in every night, and all of the things I constantly take for granted.  To appreciate my family and friends no matter how crazy our situations are in life.  To appreciate the love I receive from a significant other because that very love sees you through a bad day or another heartbreak.  To appreciate the time someone gives you out of the kindness of their heart because they want to make you smile and rather see you happy.  Not everyday in life is a good day, you have to learn to weather the storm. Without these blessings everyday and the people in my cypher that truly love and support me I am very small.  I am small compared to the greatness and willingness of others.  I hope to make a change in myself for my familys’ sake. For my lovers’ sake.  For my friends that prove they are true. 

I am no longer what I say I am but what I show you.